...When I realized that I hadn't blogged.
After all, I am trying to blog once a day, each day for a year.
So far, fail. No, not an epic fail, but a fail nonetheless.
I could blame the weather, or the crisis in the Middle East, or the North Korean thing, or even that bum Manning singing with the Broncos, but I won't.
I will, instead, blame surgery.
I have been out of work for nearly a month thanks to recent hernia surgery. Oh, the pain was fairly awful, but over time, it has become quite manageable, even dissipating to the point I don't even notice it anymore. What has become UN-manageable, in a way, is my schedule.
Schedule? What kind of schedule could one in recovery keep? There is none to speak of, really. I stay up fairly late watching crummy TV, wake up to take the boy(s) somewhere like school or to a babysitter, then return home to lay on the couch with more crummy TV. Then, at some point, I get up and do something, like move something from here to there, or empty the dishwasher, or think about stuff I really need to do. That takes up a lot of my time.
It's the schedule that I no longer have that is making this recovery worse as the days wear on. No, I truly don't want to go back to work, after all, who does, but it's the regimented schedule that I need. I need structure. I need boundaries. Right now, I have none of those. Freedom some might say! Wonderful, others might cheer! But, I confess, I cannot cheer. I cannot be free, until I am back at work, and missing all this freedom. I need to have someone tell me when to eat, when to relax, and when to go to work. Leaving that up to me has been a bad thing.
For example, this blog. With a structured schedule, I would have blogged every day. It would have gnawed at me just as I put my head on my pillow: "Damn. I didn't blog today." Then, I get up, find either my iPhone or fire up the computer, and blog away. But over the past month, as the days blend into each other, I simply forget that I have responsibilities. Those here at home, and those on the Interwebs.
And so, I look forward to Thursday, when I go back to my Doctor, who will hopefully free me from this gilded cage, and send me back to the daily drudgery that is work. (Though, for the record, I love what I do.) Work itself, is a four letter word, even if you haven't worked a day in your life.
I am done working now on this blog for tonight. I am hoping I remember to blog again tomorrow, and I am hoping I remember my Doctor's appointment on Thursday.
See you tomorrow.
--Jonny
After all, I am trying to blog once a day, each day for a year.
So far, fail. No, not an epic fail, but a fail nonetheless.
I could blame the weather, or the crisis in the Middle East, or the North Korean thing, or even that bum Manning singing with the Broncos, but I won't.
I will, instead, blame surgery.
I have been out of work for nearly a month thanks to recent hernia surgery. Oh, the pain was fairly awful, but over time, it has become quite manageable, even dissipating to the point I don't even notice it anymore. What has become UN-manageable, in a way, is my schedule.
Schedule? What kind of schedule could one in recovery keep? There is none to speak of, really. I stay up fairly late watching crummy TV, wake up to take the boy(s) somewhere like school or to a babysitter, then return home to lay on the couch with more crummy TV. Then, at some point, I get up and do something, like move something from here to there, or empty the dishwasher, or think about stuff I really need to do. That takes up a lot of my time.
It's the schedule that I no longer have that is making this recovery worse as the days wear on. No, I truly don't want to go back to work, after all, who does, but it's the regimented schedule that I need. I need structure. I need boundaries. Right now, I have none of those. Freedom some might say! Wonderful, others might cheer! But, I confess, I cannot cheer. I cannot be free, until I am back at work, and missing all this freedom. I need to have someone tell me when to eat, when to relax, and when to go to work. Leaving that up to me has been a bad thing.
For example, this blog. With a structured schedule, I would have blogged every day. It would have gnawed at me just as I put my head on my pillow: "Damn. I didn't blog today." Then, I get up, find either my iPhone or fire up the computer, and blog away. But over the past month, as the days blend into each other, I simply forget that I have responsibilities. Those here at home, and those on the Interwebs.
And so, I look forward to Thursday, when I go back to my Doctor, who will hopefully free me from this gilded cage, and send me back to the daily drudgery that is work. (Though, for the record, I love what I do.) Work itself, is a four letter word, even if you haven't worked a day in your life.
I am done working now on this blog for tonight. I am hoping I remember to blog again tomorrow, and I am hoping I remember my Doctor's appointment on Thursday.
See you tomorrow.
--Jonny
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