Unless you've been on the International Space Station, tripping and falling into a lifeboat or living under a rock (or in one) you've probably noticed that it's primary season. Now before we all start snarling at each other over who is right and who is wrong, let me start by saying this is not going to be a political post. Instead, this is going to be a post about states.
Not like the state of confusion I am in most of the time, or a state of paralysis that our government is in (whoops -- did this just become a political post?) but our fifty states. All but two physically joined together in a union more than 200 years strong.
When I was growing up in New York, we used to tell funny jokes about people from New Jersey, Connecticut and just about everywhere else. (Most New Yorkers are a bunch of egocentric clams anyway, damn Yankees.) But specifically, we would talk about how bad New Jersey smells, how the drivers from Connecticut are half blind, and how no one should ever, ever dare visit Pennsylvania. That said, I, of course, never made fun of those other states. I loved them all like we were all somehow attached, save for two of them.
Then, I moved to the Old North State, or North Carolina.
It was here that I found a job I love, the woman that I love, and the boys who make each and every day a wonderful day.
But just to our south lies a state that for me, holds very little endearing qualities. Besides Stephen Colbert and Charleston, I really try my best to stay out of South Carolina. In fact, now that the South Carolina primary is done, we should hear very little from the Palmetto State until, I guess, four years from now.
And that suits me just fine. I have watched the coverage of the primaries, and had to listen to all the yokels talk about which candidate they would choose and why. I really think they should just vote for each other, but, alas, South Carolina bars write in candidates. Another reason. What I am getting at here is that I just didn't like what I heard, and now, as a result, South Carolina seems well, icky. A backwards place with odd residents, and even odder politics.
Which bring me to the conclusion of this rant.
I suggest that the name South Carolina be stricken from the record, and instead, have the state be called North East Georgia. That way, North Carolina can once and for all stand on its own, out of the shadow of a state that just really brings us all down.
See you tomorrow.
--Jonny
Not like the state of confusion I am in most of the time, or a state of paralysis that our government is in (whoops -- did this just become a political post?) but our fifty states. All but two physically joined together in a union more than 200 years strong.
When I was growing up in New York, we used to tell funny jokes about people from New Jersey, Connecticut and just about everywhere else. (Most New Yorkers are a bunch of egocentric clams anyway, damn Yankees.) But specifically, we would talk about how bad New Jersey smells, how the drivers from Connecticut are half blind, and how no one should ever, ever dare visit Pennsylvania. That said, I, of course, never made fun of those other states. I loved them all like we were all somehow attached, save for two of them.
Then, I moved to the Old North State, or North Carolina.
It was here that I found a job I love, the woman that I love, and the boys who make each and every day a wonderful day.
But just to our south lies a state that for me, holds very little endearing qualities. Besides Stephen Colbert and Charleston, I really try my best to stay out of South Carolina. In fact, now that the South Carolina primary is done, we should hear very little from the Palmetto State until, I guess, four years from now.
And that suits me just fine. I have watched the coverage of the primaries, and had to listen to all the yokels talk about which candidate they would choose and why. I really think they should just vote for each other, but, alas, South Carolina bars write in candidates. Another reason. What I am getting at here is that I just didn't like what I heard, and now, as a result, South Carolina seems well, icky. A backwards place with odd residents, and even odder politics.
Which bring me to the conclusion of this rant.
I suggest that the name South Carolina be stricken from the record, and instead, have the state be called North East Georgia. That way, North Carolina can once and for all stand on its own, out of the shadow of a state that just really brings us all down.
See you tomorrow.
--Jonny
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